Male Sexual Problems
Sexual problems can effect men at any age. Premature ejaculation (reaching orgasm too quickly), erectile dysfunction (losing your erection) and delayed orgasm are the most common problems.
Do your orgasms come too quickly or too slowly for either you or your partner to feel satisfied and pleasured? Does your penis not get hard enough for penetration, or does it get soft before you reach orgasm? If you or your partner cannot give or receive the pleasure and satisfaction you want, then you have a problem in your sex life and probably your relationship.
The usual source of these problems is anxiety. Sex can sometimes be an anxious experience, and the way our brains function means anxiety can cause your penis to get soft and your orgasm to speed up or slow down. If any of these happen, you and your partner may feel ashamed, humiliated, frustrated or angry. These feelings will feed your anxiety next time round. Tensions and arguments about sex will make things worse. Sexual problems also cause depression, which lowers your self-confidence and reduces your ability to manage the original problem.
The good news is that anxiety is a natural part of sex. You can learn how to reduce your anxiety, improve control over how fast or how slow you ejaculate, gain confidence in your erections and communicate with your partner what sort of stimulation you want or need. Medication might help, but viagra works on your genitals not your brain. If anxiety is driving your problem, medication is not a long-term solution. Working on yourself and with your partner is the answer.
If you are aged over 50, suffering a chronic health condition, or taking certain medications, health issues may contribute to the above problems.
Medical history is important and I advise clients to get a check up with a doctor. But for most men, problems with erections and orgasms are usually more to do with their heads than their penises.
I am always happy to discuss without obligation how I work and how I might be able to help. You might also find the following pages helpful:
- The New Sex & Couples Therapy
- Sex, Relationships & Growth
- Female Sexual Problems
- Addiction, Fantasy & Kink
Whatever the issue that you want to address, the most important step is to call a therapist to talk about it.