It's a big step to consult a therapist about a sexual or a relationship problem. If you do decide to seek professional help, make sure your therapist has specialist training in the field. Many therapists offer sex and couples counselling, but specialists in the area are still few in number. For a list of therapists who might be able to help, see the website of the College of Sex and Relationship Therapists (COSRT).
Before switching careers to become a therapist, I spent seven years in the UK Diplomatic Service, four of them in Japan, and thirteen years in financial public relations in Tokyo and the City of London. I gained a Postgraduate Diploma in psychotherapy and counselling from Regents College, City University, in 2008. In 2011 I gained a further Postgraduate Diploma in psychosexual and relationship therapy from Middlesex University. I teach on the London Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy.
Having come to therapy from a business background, my approach stresses getting results for clients and putting them in a position where they can help themselves. I encourage clients to focus on what can be done in the present rather than look back into the past. I also challenge clients to confront the issues they face as quickly as possible and move forward to a solution. The first question in sex and couples therapy may be "How do you feel about this?", but the most important question is "What are you ready to do about it?"
Relationships are people making machines. They force us to change and grow. We grow by looking after ourselves, accepting the differences in our partners and being honest about wanting to change as we mature. This is a skill that happy and successful people and couples have. But sometimes we are ready for growth but our partners are not. In my own relationships, things got better when I became honest about who I am and what I want. Only then did I find a partner willing to accept my uniqueness, be accepted in their turn and prepared to grow together.
When it comes to sexual behaviour, I don't make judgements about any act that is consensual between adults. When it comes to sexual fantasy, I never judge anything that is only in someone's head.
Graham Prince 2013
To learn more see my video 'Why I Became a Sex Therapist'...